Mental Discharge
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Sell Me Your Product, Then Promptly Shut the Fuck Up

03.26.2023

Corporations seem to think they need to hold my hand and tell me how to live when all I want to do is buy their crap.

Promote an Open Business With Anti-Mandate Entry Signs

01.23.2022

Let patrons of your business know they can feel safe inside your establishment from the tyrannical posturing of worthless politicians.

MSNBC

I Think MSNBC Has Turned Me Into a Super Gay Racist

12.01.2021

The constant badgering about how horrible I am for simply existing has finally made me change my ways.

The Concord Research Group Racism Measurement Test

03.28.2021

Take our specifically formulated and carefully constructed test that analyzes, scores, and rates your level of racism.

The New Mental Discharge Has Arrived for Some Reason

03.20.2021

After a long hiatus, a bout of lockdowns, a ton of hysteria, and a tiny burning sensation, Mental Discharge is back to give running a web site one more go.

Kawk Rings by Tad 2

08.18.2013

Our product engineers have painstakingly crafted a whole new series in our elongated line of famous jewelry for your jewels.

Kawk Rings by Tad

12.20.2010

The quality, performance, and longevity of our rooster rings can't be beat!

I Literally Just Broke Up With English

12.15.2010

I'm comfortable saying that I figuratively just broke up with English. What has English done, you may ask, to merit such scorn and derision?

Anal Beads are for Fat, Lazy, Stupid People

12.05.2010

It's become a startling fact that people these days are too lazy to regard sex with even the slightest bit of effort.

Six Silly Sanctimonies of Censorship

10.21.2009

Poorly executed attempts at censorship that only serve to promote the continued ignorance of society.

Howdy There, Shitty Neighbor!

06.19.2009

Here are some of our favorite neighbors and the wonderful experiences we've not had the pleasure to be a part of.

Men of Other Integrities

02.18.2009

You can enjoy the exact same self-appreciation for mediocrity, but you don't have to be married to enjoy it.

I Had Your Mom Last Night

01.07.2004

On a night ordinarily scheduled for Bingo, your mother receives intense sexual bliss and steamy passion she has yearned for nearly a decade.

Displaced Rainforest Animals Enjoy Basking in the Sun

10.04.2003

Less than a century ago, exotic plants and animals struggled for survival in dense rainforests. Now, scientists can learn so much from creatures once off-limits to the world.

China Disney Celebrates Grand Opening

06.18.2003

Mass looting and riots erupted Tuesday in what Chinese officials call their most successful, and only, Western theme park opening ever.

Weekly World News Reporter Resigns Amid Scandal

06.07.2003

Another rising star of the journalistic community fell unexpectedly.

Police Officers Slay Elderly Negro

06.07.2003

NYC lawmakers held a press conference today to honor twelve brave police officers whose raid on an apartment complex caused the death of an elderly black woman.

Greenpeace

Pave the Whales!

11.11.2002

There's too much attention on saving ugly animals with no reasonable use to mankind.

College Freshman Survival Guide

08.26.2002

In just thirteen simple steps, you can get through that first, uncomfortable, pressuring week of college as the lowest of the food chain: a freshman.

AP

Thanks for Nothing, Rigas!

08.21.2002

Hey, Rigas! That pitiful 6 a.m. perp walk from your New York high rise drove the Dow up 489 points.

Is Your Buddy a Homo?

03.31.2002

If you suspect your best friend may be moonlighting his shit-thermos as a meat locker, there are several possible outcomes.

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