Mental Discharge

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#1 (9%)

Wearing a Mask in 2023 Is a Statement That You're Retarded

10 months ago

If you haven't gotten the message by now, covering your face with polypropylene from China is dumb.

#2 (6%)

Thanks for Ruining Jennifer Lawrence, Mr. iCloud Hacker Guy

09.06.2014

Jennifer Lawrence and her fellow celebrities aren't the only victims of this devastating attack on privacy.

#3 (6%)

Kawk Rings by Tad 2

08.18.2013

Our product engineers have painstakingly crafted a whole new series in our elongated line of famous jewelry for your jewels.

#4 (6%)

Terminator's Salsa-Savvy Savior: The Heroine of Dark Fate

11.07.2019

Terminator: Dark Fate's Dani Ramos is a taco-loving, quesadilla-crafting Latina who just so happens to possess an uncanny knack for escaping killer robots.

#5 (5%)

Call of Duty Thinks You're Too Retarded to Handle Foul Language

8 months ago

Go ahead and murder that guy. It's cool. Just don't say any mean things to him because it might hurt his feelings.

#6 (5%)
MSNBC

I Think MSNBC Has Turned Me Into a Super Gay Racist

12.01.2021

The constant badgering about how horrible I am for simply existing has finally made me change my ways.

#7 (5%)

Dexter: New Blood is Yet Another Master Class in Failure

01.18.2022

Showtime fails its second attempt at giving a worthy ending to the horrific and exhilarating exploits of Dexter Morgan.

#8 (4%)

Sell Me Your Product, Then Promptly Shut the Fuck Up

03.26.2023

Corporations seem to think they need to hold my hand and tell me how to live when all I want to do is buy their crap.

#9 (4%)

Promote an Open Business With Anti-Mandate Entry Signs

01.23.2022

Let patrons of your business know they can feel safe inside your establishment from the tyrannical posturing of worthless politicians.

#10 (4%)

Google's Retarded Censorship Machine Doesn't like My Opinions

9 months ago

The most prolific distributor of lies and propaganda on the entire planet says my inane takes are harmful.

#11 (4%)

I Literally Just Broke Up With English

12.15.2010

I'm comfortable saying that I figuratively just broke up with English. What has English done, you may ask, to merit such scorn and derision?

#12 (4%)

Police Officers Slay Elderly Negro

06.07.2003

NYC lawmakers held a press conference today to honor twelve brave police officers whose raid on an apartment complex caused the death of an elderly black woman.

#13 (4%)

College Freshman Survival Guide

08.26.2002

In just thirteen simple steps, you can get through that first, uncomfortable, pressuring week of college as the lowest of the food chain: a freshman.

#14 (3%)

Weekly World News Reporter Resigns Amid Scandal

06.07.2003

Another rising star of the journalistic community fell unexpectedly.

#15 (3%)

The New Mental Discharge Has Arrived for Some Reason

03.20.2021

After a long hiatus, a bout of lockdowns, a ton of hysteria, and a tiny burning sensation, Mental Discharge is back to give running a web site one more go.

#16 (3%)

Displaced Rainforest Animals Enjoy Basking in the Sun

10.04.2003

Less than a century ago, exotic plants and animals struggled for survival in dense rainforests. Now, scientists can learn so much from creatures once off-limits to the world.

#17 (3%)

Teach Better Driving with Drive-By Road Rage Signs

05.11.2005

Help offending drivers take the guess work out of your vehicular discontent without having to brandish a firearm or baseball bat.

#18 (3%)

China Disney Celebrates Grand Opening

06.18.2003

Mass looting and riots erupted Tuesday in what Chinese officials call their most successful, and only, Western theme park opening ever.

#19 (3%)

Anal Beads are for Fat, Lazy, Stupid People

12.05.2010

It's become a startling fact that people these days are too lazy to regard sex with even the slightest bit of effort.

#20 (3%)

Is Your Buddy a Homo?

03.31.2002

If you suspect your best friend may be moonlighting his shit-thermos as a meat locker, there are several possible outcomes.

#21 (3%)

Kawk Rings by Tad

12.20.2010

The quality, performance, and longevity of our rooster rings can't be beat!

#22 (3%)

Samurai in September

09.11.2003

The noble samurai never gets a moment of rest. We salute their hard work by exposing the coolest movies in the genre.

#23 (1%)

MPAA Issues Licenses to Kill

06.19.2004

Soon, sneaky cinema-goers have to ask themselves a new question: Do they feel lucky?

#24 (1%)

The Curious Case of Ingesting Ivermectin

09.23.2021

Ivermectin may only familiarize patients with aisle nine at Tractor Supply, but no kidney stone should be left unturned.

#25 (1%)

Everyone in the Airport Restroom Has Ass Cancer

11 months ago

Our bathroom sanctuaries have fallen victim to the clutches of diabetic Americans boasting more rolls than a Texas Roadhouse.

#26 (1%)

The Official Guide to IRC L4m0rs

03.31.2002

Strap on your lame-proof goggles and prepare to dive into the Mental Discharge l4m0rdex.

#27 (1%)
Greenpeace

Pave the Whales!

11.11.2002

There's too much attention on saving ugly animals with no reasonable use to mankind.

#28 (1%)

The Concord Research Group Racism Measurement Test

03.28.2021

Take our specifically formulated and carefully constructed test that analyzes, scores, and rates your level of racism.

#29 (1%)

I Had Your Mom Last Night

01.07.2004

On a night ordinarily scheduled for Bingo, your mother receives intense sexual bliss and steamy passion she has yearned for nearly a decade.

#30 (1%)

Meet Your YouTube Commenters

02.03.2009

Now that your video has been featured on the main page, let's meet your YouTube commenters.

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