Trending Articles
Call of Duty Thinks You're Too Retarded to Handle Foul Language
A franchise built on the horrors of war will make the experience safer by punishing those who fight with words.
The Curious Case of Ingesting Ivermectin
Ivermectin may only familiarize patients with aisle nine at Tractor Supply, but no kidney stone should ever be left unturned.
How to Excise Microsoft From of Your Colon Quickly and Painlessly
Defeat the evil, sinister ways of Microsoft with our handy guide that restores Windows to its non-autonomous state.
Teach Proper Parking with Parking Lesson Leaflets
Provide those with poor parking skills the guidance they need using Parking Lesson Leaflets.
New MAHA Mountain Dew Flavors Help Ditch Disease
RFK Jr. going to war with the food industry means the folks over at Mountain Dew need to come up with a new game plan.
The Concord Research Group Racism Measurement Test
Take our scientifically formulated and carefully constructed test that analyzes, scores, and rates your level of racism.
Promote an Open Business With Anti-Mandate Entry Signs
Let patrons of your business know they can feel safe inside your establishment from the tyrannical posturing of evil politicians.
J.J. Abrams Killed the Star Trek Franchise
The 55th anniversary of Star Trek is a bittersweet reminder of a science fiction saga that no longer challenges philosophical dilemmas.
Dexter: New Blood is Yet Another Master Class in Failure
Showtime fails its second attempt at giving a worthy ending to the horrific, exhilarating exploits of Dexter Morgan.
Airline Passenger Etiquette Must Return in a Post-Pandemic World
Weapons, explosives, and flammable materials are now allowed on commercial flights as long as they're part of a passenger's personality.
Sell Me Your Product, Then Promptly Shut the Fuck Up
Companies and their product advertisements need to stop berating my heritage and just tell me if it comes in black.
I Still Mourn the Fall of ISIS and the End of Archer
It's the second anniversary of the world's greatest spy neatly folding his tactleneck for the last time.
Dr. Fauci Is the Scientist From The Dark Crystal
A cult fantasy film made by Jim Henson about puppets suffering in a chaotic world accurately portrays the insanity of today.
Google's Censorship Machine Doesn't like My Opinions
The most prolific distributor of lies and propaganda on the planet says my inane takes are incredibly dangerous.
She-Hulk Proves That in the Marvel Universe, Men Are the Enemy
I may not know anything about comics or the Marvel universe, but I can easily spot a bitter, angry, insufferable woman.
The New Mental Discharge Has Arrived for Some Reason
After a long hiatus, a ton of hysteria, and a tiny burning sensation, Mental Discharge is back to give running a web site one more go.
There Is an Epidemic of TV Hosts Who Are Complete Pussies
The arbiters of late-night are no longer in the business of entertaining audiences, but instead looking for their shoulders to cry on.
Wearing a Mask in 2023 Is a Statement That You're Retarded
Some people still have yet to learn that covering your face with a polypropylene napkin from China doesn't impress anybody.
Six Silly Sanctimonies of Censorship
Poorly executed attempts at censorship that only serve to promote the continued ignorance of society.
The Experts' Guide to Political Gaslighting in the Modern Era
With the right spin, you can quickly learn that appearing effective is more valuable than being effective.
Howdy There, Shitty Neighbor!
Take a tour through the many varieties of terrible neighbors and the experiences that make you question living among humans.