Mental Discharge
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Call of Duty Thinks You're Too Retarded to Handle Foul Language

09.01.2023

Go ahead and murder that guy. It's cool. Just don't say any mean things to him because it might hurt his feelings.

Google's Retarded Censorship Machine Doesn't like My Opinions

08.15.2023

The most prolific distributor of lies and propaganda on the entire planet says my inane takes are harmful.

Wearing a Mask in 2023 Is a Statement That You're Retarded

07.29.2023

If you haven't gotten the message by now, covering your face with polypropylene from China is dumb.

Everyone in the Airport Restroom Has Ass Cancer

06.08.2023

Our bathroom sanctuaries have fallen victim to the clutches of diabetic Americans boasting more rolls than a Texas Roadhouse.

Sell Me Your Product, Then Promptly Shut the Fuck Up

03.26.2023

Corporations seem to think they need to hold my hand and tell me how to live when all I want to do is buy their crap.

She-Hulk Proves That in the Marvel Universe, Men Are the Enemy

08.20.2022

I may not know anything about comics or the Marvel universe, but I can easily spot a bitter, angry, insufferable woman.

Promote an Open Business With Anti-Mandate Entry Signs

01.23.2022

Let patrons of your business know they can feel safe inside your establishment from the tyrannical posturing of worthless politicians.

Dr. Fauci Is the Scientist From The Dark Crystal

01.21.2022

Jim Henson's cult fantasy film was a warning to us all of our impending doom through the tales of his creative puppetry.

Dexter: New Blood is Yet Another Master Class in Failure

01.18.2022

Showtime fails its second attempt at giving a worthy ending to the horrific and exhilarating exploits of Dexter Morgan.

MSNBC

I Think MSNBC Has Turned Me Into a Super Gay Racist

12.01.2021

The constant badgering about how horrible I am for simply existing has finally made me change my ways.

The Curious Case of Ingesting Ivermectin

09.23.2021

Ivermectin may only familiarize patients with aisle nine at Tractor Supply, but no kidney stone should be left unturned.

J.J. Abrams Killed the Star Trek Franchise

09.08.2021

The 55th anniversary of Star Trek is a bittersweet reminder of a science fiction saga that once expertly challenged moral, political, and philosophical dilemmas.

The Concord Research Group Racism Measurement Test

03.28.2021

Take our specifically formulated and carefully constructed test that analyzes, scores, and rates your level of racism.

The New Mental Discharge Has Arrived for Some Reason

03.20.2021

After a long hiatus, a bout of lockdowns, a ton of hysteria, and a tiny burning sensation, Mental Discharge is back to give running a web site one more go.

Terminator's Salsa-Savvy Savior: The Heroine of Dark Fate

11.07.2019

Terminator: Dark Fate's Dani Ramos is a taco-loving, quesadilla-crafting Latina who just so happens to possess an uncanny knack for escaping killer robots.

Thanks for Ruining Jennifer Lawrence, Mr. iCloud Hacker Guy

09.06.2014

Jennifer Lawrence and her fellow celebrities aren't the only victims of this devastating attack on privacy.

Kawk Rings by Tad 2

08.18.2013

Our product engineers have painstakingly crafted a whole new series in our elongated line of famous jewelry for your jewels.

Kawk Rings by Tad

12.20.2010

The quality, performance, and longevity of our rooster rings can't be beat!

I Literally Just Broke Up With English

12.15.2010

I'm comfortable saying that I figuratively just broke up with English. What has English done, you may ask, to merit such scorn and derision?

Anal Beads are for Fat, Lazy, Stupid People

12.05.2010

It's become a startling fact that people these days are too lazy to regard sex with even the slightest bit of effort.

Six Silly Sanctimonies of Censorship

10.21.2009

Poorly executed attempts at censorship that only serve to promote the continued ignorance of society.

Teach Proper Parking with Parking Lesson Leaflets

07.18.2009

Provide those with poor parking skills the guidance they need using Parking Lesson Leaflets.

Howdy There, Shitty Neighbor!

06.19.2009

Here are some of our favorite neighbors and the wonderful experiences we've not had the pleasure to be a part of.

Men of Other Integrities

02.18.2009

You can enjoy the exact same self-appreciation for mediocrity, but you don't have to be married to enjoy it.

Meet Your YouTube Commenters

02.03.2009

Now that your video has been featured on the main page, let's meet your YouTube commenters.

Teach Better Driving with Drive-By Road Rage Signs

05.11.2005

Help offending drivers take the guess work out of your vehicular discontent without having to brandish a firearm or baseball bat.

REUTERS/Lisa Miller

Bill O’Reilly Defends Himself: “I’m a ‘tits’ man.”

10.14.2004

Fox News's Bill O'Reilly fires back at sexual harassment allegations at a press conference.

MPAA Issues Licenses to Kill

06.19.2004

Soon, sneaky cinema-goers have to ask themselves a new question: Do they feel lucky?

I Had Your Mom Last Night

01.07.2004

On a night ordinarily scheduled for Bingo, your mother receives intense sexual bliss and steamy passion she has yearned for nearly a decade.

Teen Isn’t “TKed” in Online Game for 8 Minutes

10.04.2003

Daryl was not team-killed for a record 8 minutes, something experts say is an amazingly rare feat.

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