Your Jeep Is Kinda Gay and You Should Be Ashamed

I'd be lying if I said I've never slapped some cheap Chinese crap onto a Jeep before, but the amount of goofy mods people are bolting onto Wranglers these days is getting out of control. Nobody really sneers at a beautiful set of 37-inch tires that only embrace pavement anymore, but door hinge steps to access a roof rack you don't have and spare fuel cans hanging off your tailgate filled to the brim with air is really pushing it.

Look, I totally understand the hesitation in taking an overpriced 4x4 that eats camshafts onto a trail and pinstriping the doors, but at some point, you've got to bust that off-road cherry. No, you don't need to bash it against every single rock in your path or sink it into five feet of mud, but if you're going to let a shop rip you off installing a lift kit and a set of ridiculous shocks that cost more than a used Toyota, at least get your money's worth out of it.

A Jeep that has more investment than your kids' college education sitting in a driveway with a pair of axles that are just as clean as the day you drove it off the lot is kinda gay and you should be ashamed. That thing is begging to crawl on some real dirt amongst trees, longing to be near even the most mediocre of mountains. It dares you, nay double-dares you, to grab that transfer case knob you've never once given a thought to and shift it into 4HI.

To see how decorative ruggedness rates on a scale of 1 to cringe, choose one or more of the popular modifications below. The wilderness cries out for your Wrangler, but if its only brush with adventure is an Amazon shopping cart, you aren't answering the call.

Angry Grilles

Aftermarket Brand Decals

22" Wheels

No Problem/Problem

Light Bars

Punisher Decals

Stingers

LED Antennas

Wheel Well Lights

Door Hinge Steps

Empty Containers

Hi-Lift Jacks

Snorkels

Limb Risers

Ducks